{9}

I just went upstairs

& kissed you for the last time

as an eight year old.

You can hardly wait for tomorrow,  

though technically

"you will still be eight until 3:21 p.m."

Just in case I forgot?

You, Daniel,

are such a funny one.

You are emotional and enthusiastic and love life.

There is not much that you don't like to do.

You'll give almost anything a try... once.

You have a heart of gold & wear it right out on your sleeve.

You are respectful & kind & just 

won an award at school that is a

testimony to your care & concern for others.

Way to go!!

Daddy & I are so very proud of you.

You drew a tough spot as the 'baby' in our family.

You spent the first couple of years

strapped in your car seat

 being hauled

to every event and activity the older two had.

You get the most sleep of all of us

& yet you still appear to be allergic to mornings.

Your recent love of your history textbook

delights me to no end.

I love that you so enjoy being in the kitchen with me.

I love that you love Wranglers & boots as much as your dad.

I love that you love Jesus.

 Happiest birthday to you, Big D!!

We all love the stuffins out of you!!

Running the Race

I remember the days when I had toddlers

 and would naively watch those mamas with busy, older children

with schedules filled with sports and activities

and in my head I would say,

 "Never, never will I run like a crazy lady."

Oh my.

Yeah. 

Fast forward ten years and I'm eating my words.

I am quickly learning the reality of

a family with multiple children 

in various activities and sports.

Todd and I desire for each of our children

to be well rounded kids,

to find something they love and

{hopefully} excel at it.

I truly believe involved, active kids are healthy kids.

Trying to balance their 'thing'

with high academics

and enough down time to teach character and bond as a family,

gets harder with each passing year.

Luke is running cross country and is almost an Eagle Scout.

Gracie, our most natural athlete,

 plays basketball, volleyball, and rides for a mounted drill team.

{She has also told me she wants to try out for soccer and be a cheerleader.}

Oh, for goodness sake!

Daniel is also a Scout and has just started lacrosse

and really wants to play football.

I long for those days when they all came home from school,

had a snack, did a smattering of homework,

and played out in the yard.

I think that is SO important for kids.

My hope is that one day we will see all this pay off.

My hope is that they will be excellent people.

My hope is that maybe there might be a bit of a scholarship down the line.

Who knows?

There are so many ways to raise kids these days-

so many options we never had when I was growing up.

Sports have taken on a whole new competitive edge that

I truly don't like.

But what is a mama to do?

My kids will be out in the world with all these other kids

someday and they need to be able to compete - on all levels.

We do our best to take it one year at time,

see what is best for each child, and encourage them on their path.

We hope for the best for the future.

We cherish the past.

And do our best to 

enjoy

 &

 savor

 today.

What I Know of Boys

I have two boys.

When I was pregnant, I thought for sure we would be a family of all girls.  Just the cowboy and his girls, wandering through life together.  You can imagine my surprise when Todd leaned over, with tears on his cheeks, and told an exhausted me that we were the proud parents of a boy.

Well, we put that little swaddled-in-blue bundle in our car seat and headed for home.  Two years later, a bundle of pink, and a few years after that, another blue bundle.

My boys are awesome.  They are completely unique - couldn't be more different.  But after having spent the better part of a decade watching the two of them together, I have learned a few things about boys in general.

1. Boys need adventure.  Boys need to be the hero, to save the day or the damsel in distress.  And if they can do it in camo or toting a gun of some kind, all the better.  Boys need to skin their knees and put holes in their jeans {every last pair!} and boys need to play outside every. single. day.

For long periods.

2.  Boys ruin stuff.  Oh, they won't intentionally knock the screen out of the window and dent it all to heck.  It will be a total accident that happened while they were spying on their sister and her friend. And Daniel they will claim it is just a part of their inquisitive nature. They are rough and tumble and often not overly careful.  Much like a puppy.  Or twelve.

3.  Boys love guns.  Like it or not, they are hard wired to be protectors {see the aforementioned need to be the hero}.  You can try to avoid it all you want but they will find a way to make a gun out of something - Legos, Tinker Toys, a found piece of wood, they will even chew their sandwich into the shape of  gun.

4.  Their fun is loud and often involves bodily noises.  Nothing sends them into fits of laughter faster than a ... well, I don't think I need to elaborate on that one.

5.  Verbal encouragement/affirmation is kin to food for boys.  It lifts their spirits, gives them confidence and energy, and makes their chests puff up.  They need to hear how brave, handsome, smart, and funny they are.  That includes the one you are married to!

6.  Boys need boundaries.  Their hearts need much instruction, their bodies need regular quiet {though they will fight you on it} Boundaries give way to less stress and chaos in the home.

7.  Boys need a man in their lives - and a strong one at that.  They need an example of masculinity, one that cannot come from a mom{sorry ladies}.

Our lives may not always be calm or pretty or clean or exactly what I thought it would be, but thank heaven we have a sister who is!  Oh, I KID!!  Well, I am serious about the clean and pretty part, but she is just as noisy and rambunctious as her brothers.  Our life is not as I expected it to be, but it's a life of full of beauty and I wouldn't change one beautiful, noisy, messy, joy-filled bit of it.

Wisdom At It's Finest

I came across a quote the other day that I just loved...

"Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap,

but by the seeds you plant."

- Robert Louis Stevenson

I think it applies to motherhood so well.

{And to a life of faith, for that matter.}

Often times I find myself frustrated

 by the lack of fruit - bearing I see

in my children.

I want immediate results for the teaching I've poured into them.

I want spiritual and emotional maturity,

 {like yesterday for

heaven's sake!}

I want to know that what I have said,

has been buried deep

in their hearts.

I want them to make wise choices 

and thoughtful decisions.

But children aren't like that.

Much like seeds, they require time.

A lot of time.

Usually more time than I want to wait, 

you can be certain of that.

 Like seeds, they require patience and gentle nurturing

and daily tending.

  A little sweet talk doesn't hurt either. 

My job as a mom is to be a seed planter.

One who digs deep into fertile soil

and tends and fusses over it, 

nurturing daily with love and patience.

I need to realize that if I want a harvest,

A little rain must fall.

And a little sun must shine.

And I might even need a bit of dirt under my nails.

And most of all, I need to remember that

each flower blooms

in it's own time.

Blessings to you as you tend

to your seedlings today!

{K}

When Nothing Goes Right

Yesterday was one of those days.

It all started well and good, but by 7:00 a.m. things were headed south at a rapid pace.

  My oldest plays up for our high school band and he had a concert last night, so that meant a before-school practice at 7:15 yesterday morning.  We were all headed to the high school when my sweet 13 year old announced, "Mom, I left my trombone at the Middle School."  {cue the record scratch} Hmmm... I thought to myself. So, we stopped by the Middle School to get said trombone and lo, and behold, the band room doors were locked tight and NO ONE, not one single person, had the key to open the door.

  Meanwhile, the clock is ticking and I was getting wound up because I hate to be late and unprepared and looking like we don't have our act together.  So we waited.  And waited.  Forty minutes we waited.  And I took advantage of our time in the car together to re-strategize my morning and figure out how I was going to get all the kids to where they need to be ON TIME!  And I also took the time to dive right into one of my famous lectures about how he's headed to high school next year and don't you think it would be best to plan more than 20 minutes ahead of yourself, and do you see how your lack of preparedness affect the whole lot of us??  And on and on.

I finally dropped him off, 45 minutes late, with an exchange of "I'm sorry" and a hug and I wanted to crawl back into bed and start this day over because I'm pretty certain that the whole series of events didn't seal my "Mother of the Year" nomination.  And I kicked myself, because how many times have I thought "how can I be mad that he is not as I want him to be, when I am not as I want me to be?"  And I vowed to meet him for lunch and love on him in his love language of burgers and ask for forgiveness.

 Then I stopped by Target to pick up a few things and I swear the cashier looked at me like, "AGAIN, you are here again??" because I was there the night before and the day before that.  She didn't help my mood.

I then went home, baked cupcakes for a teacher's birthday the next day and took the dog for a long walk to get his endless energy out and my work out in.  We were almost home when we stopped by the neighbor's house to see their not -so- small yellow lab pup.  The dogs love to play together and when she asked if Boone would like to come in the back yard and play with Body, I agreed.   Ten minutes later we were on our way home when I noticed Boone limping and bleeding.  We got home and took a look at his foot... sure enough, cut wide open and needing stitches!  So, not only had I messed up the morning with my son, now I had messed up the dog's foot and our budget by letting him play in a yard I hadn't checked out first.  We are assuming that he cut it on some edging or a rock.  Our neighbor's yard is rather 'organic' and I really should have looked before I said yes.

Now, instead of getting my laundry done, frosting cupcakes for the teacher, paying our bills and getting a post up, I was headed to the emergency vet.  Nice.

Turns out the vet was lovely{new office for us} and she was able to take Boone right away, but was concerned that he broke his foot as well because he was unable to put any weight on it.  She assured me that I could leave him there and they would take X-rays and suture him up and love on him in that voice that only a vet/vet tech can.  And all this could be done for the bargain price of $400.  Yes, $400.  Super.

I left him there, headed home to get something done with my day, like try to figure out where in the world the money would come from to pay the vet bill, when my sweet man offered to take me out to Taco Bell for lunch, because he is a big spender like that.  Yes ladies, he's all mine.   I protested because I had yet to really accomplish anything with my day, when I looked at my clock.  It was 2:00.  Way past my son's lunch time.  Great.  Then the phone rang and it was my bestie wondering where I was for our standing coffee date - which, of course, I had completely spaced out!!  UGH!!

I ended up postponing with her, lunching with my man, grabbing the kids, picking up the dog in his brand new plastic Cone of Shame and bandaged foot {the tech said,"he'll need to be quiet and restful for the next 10 days," to which I asked if they had medication for that.  She just looked at me.  I guess I'll have to medicate myself then}, to head home and get dinner on the table so we could get to the concert.  And the grill wouldn't start.  Oh, if I were a swearing woman I would have let forth a stream that would have caused a trucker to blush.  But, I'm not.  So I sat on the patio steps and just took a deep breath, turned my face to the sun, and gave thanks to God for this good day.

No matter how bad the day is, I remind myself it could be worse.   A whole lot worse.

I eventually got the grill going, the burgers were awesome, we actually got to eat outside {in March, none the less!} and we made it to the concert on time and watched one the greatest kids I know, play his trombone.  Because he had it.  Right there.  Not in the Middle School band room.  It was glorious.

And we returned home to iron pants for today, finish the laundry, tuck freshly showered kids into beds and put these very weary bones in a bed full of feathers.

I guess it wasn't such a bad day after all.

Mental Exhaustion: My Constant Companion

"The most important work you and I will ever do will be within the walls of our own homes." 

Harold B. Lee

I have no idea who  Mr. Harold B. Lee is, but I believe he has hit the nail on the head.  Thank you Mr. Harold B. Lee for pointing out that the great and grand calling of motherhood is one that reaches many generations past our own, and to never underestimate the power of home and someone deeply committed to it. 

OK - maybe I read a little more in to that quote than was intended, but maybe not. 

I had the pleasure of co-hosting a baby shower for my sister-in-law this past weekend and among the attendees were a few of her friends and their two-year-olds.   I used to think that having small children was stressful.  The bathing, crying, whining, feeding and clean up would wear me to a frazzle at times.  The hauling, buckling, and dressing was enough to render me useless by 4:00 pm.  I remember saying to myself, "this will be so much easier when they are older."

Have you ever wanted to travel back in time and shake your self silly?  I mean really give yourself some good, forceful taps on your cheeks and shout, "get a grip, sister!"?  Have mercy, I had no clue what was coming!

For as children grow, a change or transition happens.  You will trade physical exhaustion for mental exhaustion.

I think you all know me well enough by now that you know how deeply and dearly I love my children.  Mine is a job I would never trade: the incredible honor of having people call me mom, the investing, growing and nurturing future generations puts me over the moon and it is a job I am thrilled and blessed to do.

I am as confident as can be that I have invested wisely in the rearing of my kids.  Have I made a few mistakes along the way?  ABSOLUTELY!!  I don't think anyone leaves the battlefield of motherhood without a scar or two and a lesson or 12 well learned.  So, my fatigue doesn't come from wishing I had done more or lamenting over past mistakes.  It comes from something else entirely.

As my kids grow, and the leash of freedoms extends with each passing year, I realize that their choices are their own.  I have less and less control with each of their birthdays.  In some ways this is a relief - I am passing the baton of responsibility on to them.  In other ways, it is paralyzingly frightening.  You see, I cannot build the security of my identity as a mom on the fragility of their choices.  Let me say that again, even if for my benefit alone, I cannot build the security of my identity as a mom on the fragility of their choices.

The one thing that I have found to help combat the fatigue of mental exhaustion is this: PRAYER.  Not just situational prayer, but a few solid, core prayers that I will be praying over them until I go to be with my Father.

1.}  I pray that they will be one of the most godly people of their generation, that when people look at them, they see Him.

2.}  I pray they get caught when they make wrong choices.  There is no better teacher than natural consequences and no better way to nip a bad habit or choice in the bud, that to get caught doing it.

3.}  I pray {especially at this stage of parenting} that they are saved from the wrong friends and mates, so that they may be saved for the right friends and mate.

4.}  This is a hard one and requires much courage: {I'm even closing my eyes as I type this}  I pray for God alone to be the author of their testimonies.

Whew!  Simple, necessary and kinda scary, at times!  How about you?  What do you pray for your kids?

Blessings,

{K}