I stare out the morning window, the outline of my tired head stares back at me, sticky-up hair all out of place, crazy. The sun isn't quite up yet. Just the beginning of pink light on the horizon ready to set the world a blaze in autumn's hues. I inhale slowly and in blessed relief give thanks that this slow rising happens every morning, even when the dark seems all consuming. I wrap my hands a bit tighter around my warm cup and my head rushes forward into the day. Even though the house is quiet, I am rushing around in my head like things are in full swing already. My feet have hardly moved but my soul is rumbling.
My soul is rumbling because the events of the past week have left me weak and thirsty to my core for some divine reassurance.
In the pre-dawn dark of Tuesday morning I was awakened by Todd shouting, "Kim, the neighbor's house is on fire! I'm calling 911!" What in the world?? I thought as I struggled to lift sleep's daze from my mind. Before I even fully came to, I could smell the smoke seeping through open windows in the boys' rooms. The commotion roused everyone from sleep and in moments we all stood in front of the windows with mouths agape and hearts praying as we could easily see the orange flames light up the interior of their house. Such an eery, helpless feeling to just sit and watch a dream, quite literally, go up in smoke. Fortunately this house is under construction and no one lives there. The family was scheduled to close on it and move in in just a couple of weeks. Their dreams of being in their new home for the holidays will have to wait until spring as the entire interior will have to be gutted and rebuilt.
Wednesday evening, Todd interrupted my work out with a breaking news story from our area. A 10-year old girl was abducted on her way to school earlier in the week and he wanted to let me know she had been found. In a field, in pieces, 1/2 mile from our house. My soul is still rumbling as I struggle to wrap my mind around how something so sick and twisted happens to someone so innocent. It's like the fingers of hell reached right up through the ground and grabbed her. Her life was snuffed out and the the entire community has been launched into a place of fear and anxiety. I am angry. I am angry that her mother will never be able to hold her again, to kiss her and tell her how sorry she is. To let her know that even the next breath feels impossible to take without her.
And dare I say it? I questioned deep inside myself, where was God?
Mercifully, the Lord whispers His presence over me. He calls me back into this moment and reminds me that He called the light day and the dark night. He spoke the days into being, just one at a time. He reminds me that His mercies are new every morning and that He alone can make beauty from ashes. He reminds me that when I am weak, He is my strength. He is my rock and my shelter from the storm.
He is my deliverer and that little girl's deliverer as well.
And so I stand there next to the window, pink sky lighting up with each passing moment and I feel a bit guilty because I am a Christian and Christians aren't supposed to have fear or anxieties, right? I want to ignore the anxiety and fear and not let them rise to the surface. But I must let them rise up so I can release them into His hands. Speak the fear out loud, so that He can speak truth. I know I have a God who can handle it.
I set my cup on the counter, breathe in deep the fresh air of a new day, pray without words to a God who knows. Much like a sunrise, truth can be a slow rising, but as each moment weaves itself into the next, as we believe in the great right now, His truth becomes a strand woven into the fabric of our minutes. This moment living reminds me of who is small, who is in control and who isn't. It reminds me of my desperate need for a source outside myself. I can trust in the One True God. He alone is enough. For today and tomorrow and every day after. The condition of the world, the depravity of humanity, the circumstances of my life or the rumblings of my soul can or will ever define Him. He is unchanging and for that I am so grateful.
I just got back from meeting my best friend for lunch. She is headed to Uganda to love on some cocoa colored babies. To be a temporary mama to those who don't have one, to read stories to those who just want to curl up on a kind lap and have their hair stroked and hear a sweet voice, even if they don't share the same language. She is traveling half way around the world to be Jesus to the least of these.
We gathered to catch up and to see how we can pray for each other and we laughed ourselves silly over husbands and kids.
And finally we talked of gunmen who enter theaters and start shooting, killing so many and how does this happen just an hour away from us?? We question why a three month old was in a movie at midnight. Or a six year old. Or a seven year old for that matter. And the judgmental, critical side of me wants to shout to parents out there, "Don't you know nothing good happens after midnight??" But those parents who lost their little ones and not so little ones don't need me speculating while they plan their child's funeral. They need my prayers and compassion.
They need Jesus.
This hurting, depraved world needs Jesus. Not controversy over gun control, attempting to legislate human evil. Not my words making a very feeble attempt to make sense of such a senseless, horrendous act. Not every news person's take on the story. We need His words.
And we know that in ALL THINGS {emphasis mine} God works for the good of those who love him... Romans 8:28
You see, this side of heaven we will never understand why things like this happen. We will never be privy to the perspective of the Creator who set this planet into motion or why He allows some things to happen and others not to. It is not ours to know. We only need to trust. Trust that He will keep His promises, trust that He has this in His hands too.
What I also know is this. The ties that bind us are fragile and fleeting. No one ever knows how much time they will have here or when, instead of coming home, they go Home. Take advantage of the time you have. Time is measured in people and relationships - love on your loved ones! Kiss your husband longer, hug your kids tighter, call that friend you've been meaning to call and be a little more patient with that person behind the counter.
This morning my 14 year old was mad at me. I mean really mad. He didn't speak to me on our drive to his grandparent's house when I dropped him off to mow their yard. When I said good-bye I gave him a hug and told him that I loved him. He didn't respond. So I kept hugging. I told him I wouldn't let go until he told me that he loved me too. He complained and asked why {while I was still hugging him} and I said because you never know when something will happen to someone you love and that I was preventing him from a life time of regrets and counseling should something happen to me today. :0) I got a grin out of that. And an 'I love you, too Mom." And then I thought to ask him to look me in the eye and say it respectfully, and then we just cracked up together.
Make the most of your moments, make them count. You won't regret it.
The other day I went for my first pedicure of the season. It was an indulgence for sure, and I knew it would feel good, but I had no idea how good I would feel leaving there.
In the two chairs next to me was a pair of younger girls. Maybe out of high school, maybe not... the older I get, the younger everyone else seems. They were having a good time just chatting and laughing. At one point one of the girls asked the other, "Who's your daddy?" The other one retorted sarcastically something that sounded like it was a line from a song, and then the two of them cracked up.
They had no idea I was listening as I was up to my ears in 'People' magazine, pretending to be enthralled with the latest celebrity gossip. But the question caught my attention and I started thinking. I know exactly who my Daddy is... and He is mighty to save. He is the author of my salvation and yours too. He is the author of my story. He knows the beginning, middle, and end. And He knows my life isn't defined by one chapter of my story, even when I get stuck and feel as though it is. He knows all the ways I fall short and mess up.
And He knows when I desperately need a Savior. Someone to come in on His white horse, listen to me cry, move mountains when I am to weak to even try, chase the villain away and make everything better, even if just for a little while. That's who my Daddy is.
One of my absolute favorite verses of scripture is Zephaniah 3:17. "The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." Oh Lord, let it be so!!
Father, I pray today that you will work in the lives of all those who seek your face! Today Father, will you come along side the broken, the grieving, the hurting, the lost, those who think they are unworthy of your love and salvation? Father, I pray today that everyone reading this will know that you conquered the grave for them. Not just the few elite, but the everyday, broken sinner... like me.
My word for the year is 'yes' and I've already blown it! I had an opportunity come my way a couple of weeks ago and I decided to pass on it. I had all sorts of reasons why and excuses for not saying yes, but in truth, I was afraid. It was an opportunity I had been hoping for, a bit of a chance to improve in an area I really want to improve in, and because of my fear and lack of trust in God to provide financially, I said 'no', instead of 'yes'. And I'm a girl who is not fond of being critiqued. I don't like someone telling me that they may not like what has taken me ages to put in print. So I passed that cup of suffering right on by.
I hate it when I do that.
I've spent the last two weeks kicking myself for letting this opportunity pass. It wasn't a large amount, financially speaking. A pittance, really. Most people wouldn't bat an eye at it. But I also resolved, this year, to be super diligent about our finances. We are {by and large} at the point of necessary things only. And this thing didn't feel like a need, but a step to a dream, and I justified that if it is a dream that is meant to come true, the opportunity will present itself again.
So why do I feel like I failed? I think down deep it is because I failed to trust God in my areas of greatest weakness. For heaven's sake, He gave me the word 'yes' for a reason! To branch out, seize the day, take a leap of faith. And I said a polite, 'no thanks.'
But in my quiet time this morning I cam across something I know, but never applied this way. {Thank you, Lord for answered prayer!} Our God is a God of second chances. He is the fixer of our messes and the wiper of the slate. His mercies are new every day and He alone can take those with little faith and do great things.
This morning I studied in the book of John. Chapter 21: 1-19, to be exact. Here we see that Peter had failed to do what Jesus wanted of him. Jesus asks Peter repeatedly, "Do you love me?" Peter repeatedly confirms that, yes, in fact he does love Jesus, thus confirming, to himself, his loyalty and devotion. In verses 15, 16, &17 we see that Jesus didn't dwell on Peter's failures but only had him reconfirm his desire to follow Him.
So that is just what I did this morning. I re-avowed that in this still new year, I would let my life, like Peter's, bear witness to the fact that our God is a God of the slim chance, the fat chance, the no chance... and the second chance!
So, my sweet sister, if you have already blown your 2012 resolutions, take heart! With our God, there is always a second chance. Confess it and move on. God has great things in store for you. Don't let your past failures {recent or ages ago}, hold you back!! Go out and seize this great day!!
Well, I think it's official.... I have SAD. No, I'm not sad, I have SAD {Seasonal Affective Disorder}.
I felt this same way last January and the January before it. I get the winter blahs. I lose my 'mojo', so to speak. I long for summer's warm temperatures and lazy days. I wish to be on a white sand beach, playing with my family. I want to smell fresh cut grass and roast marshmallows over the fire. Instead I am tired, bone tired and weary, sick of the cold and dirty snow, and ready to wrap up school. Enough of winter already!! I am ready to throw open the windows, paint every wall in my house a crisp white and put on my flip flops!
Our busy schedule this time of year and increased homework don't help either. Did you know that third quarter is when the kids learn the most? And at an accelerated pace none the less? I never knew that until our oldest hit third or fourth grade. Around here we refer to it as 'the quarter of death by homework'. Add in basketball season {x2} and the Pinewood Derby and the great 'should we do early college testing or not?' debate, and you have a recipe for one SAD mama.
This year I am determined to counter the effects of this SAD season. Fortunately, a really fun little box arrived on our doorstep the other day. In it was pure sunshine!! That sweet man of mine has a friend in California who just happens to have a Meyer lemon tree growing in his backyard. He sent a lovely box full of those beauties to us and I am soooo excited!! They smell amazing and look great in a big white bowl on our kitchen table.
This photo of pure lovely-ness was found at whiteonricecouple.com. Their food blog is simply stunning and where I found the recipe for the Meyer Lemonade I am making today. It is going to be part of the tonic I need to lift these winter blahs and put smiles on the faces of everyone in my home. I'll post the recipe here or you can click on the link to find it - I'm sure you could substitute regular lemons and get the same fabulous results.
I found the other part of my tonic in my quiet time this morning.
"But you, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the One who lifts my head. I was crying out to the Lord with my voice, and He answered me from His holy mountain. -Psalm 3:3-4 {NASB}
He grounds my feet and is the lifter of my head. He is water {or lemonade, in this case} for my parched and weary soul. He alone is my holy need-meeter and the sunshine in my day. He delights in showing me that He is the answer-er of prayers and the rock on which I stand. He is the One. He is the ONE!
Now go out and make some lemonade, Sweet Friends!
Recipe:
1/2 C. fresh Meyer lemon juice
1 C. simple syrup {recipe follows}
4 C. water
rosemary sprigs * {optional}
Combine all ingredients in pitcher. Make sure to drop in a few lemon rinds so that the essential oils in the rind can further infuse the lemonade. {emphasis mine}
Simple Syrup recipe:
2 C. water
1 1/2 C. sugar
1 C. light corn syrup
Combine all ingredients in saucepan. Stir and bring to a simmer. Simmer for 15-20 seconds, then remove from heat. Allow to cool and store in sterile jar in refrigerator.
I would just love to be meeting all of you for coffee this morning. There is a storm brewing here and it just feels like a good day to sit around the table and gab the day away. Don't you agree? Warm coffee and some cinnamon rolls... mmmm!
Anyway, I want to introduce you to someone today. I've mentioned him here before but he really deserves a post all of his own...
Meet Boone. He's our loveable, entertaining, rambunctious, nearly two year old beagle. And he's not as tough as this picture would lead you to believe. He's actually quite a push-over. Especially if you rub his belly. Especially if my sweet man is around. Boone gets that he is not the 'top dog' when Todd is home. He will submit and behave as he should.
He spends his mornings curled up in the corner near the heating vent, dreaming the day away. If the sun is out, he's can be found lounging on the lounger in the back yard or stretched out sunning himself on the grass.
But, come 3:30, when I arrive home with the kids, he becomes a crazy dog. He will swipe homework, steal shoes, or abscond with your socks. If there happens to be a stray Lego nearby, it's his. And should someone miss the trash can with their napkin or kleenex, he's on it. Seems that used kleenex is his idea of a delicacy and he will choke it down faster that you can shout his name.
Lovely.
See, no matter how much attention we give him, he wants more. In fact, he's desperate for it, regardless if it lands him in his crate or earns him a swat on his nose. He's willing to pay the price for someone, anyone to pay him some attention - positive or negative!
We do that too. Sometimes we are desperate to be seen, for someone to look our way, just to be noticed. We can't help it, we were made that way. Oh, we may never actually verbalize it, but it can come through loud and clear. Maybe we die our hair an extreme color, or tattoo ourselves from stem to stern, or maybe we have perfectionist tendencies that rule our lives - we need for someone to see us as perfect. The perfect mom or the perfect wife or the perfect _________ {you fill in the blank}. Or maybe our skirt is just a tad too short or we leave an extra button undone on our blouse. The list goes on and on, it's endless really. Whether with positive or negative attention, we just want someone to notice us.
But there is one who sees you. One who knows you down to the very number of hairs on your head. And to Him, you are enough just the way you are. Rest assured, you are not forgotten. I bet if you asked God, He could go on and on about the wonder that is YOU! You are beautiful, you are His beloved, you are His lavishly loved daughter. There is only one you. Never before and never again will there be any creature as beautiful as YOU. Uniquely created by Him, for Him... of Him.
So today, rest in the knowledge that you are seen, you are loved, you are valued. Just as you are and for no other reason than you are His. If you have a chance today, lift up someone in prayer, would you? Maybe it's a sister in the midst of hard times, someone's marriage that is on the brink, a sweet soul who needs to know that someone loves her. Who knows, you just might change her day!
The phone rang early one morning not too long before Christmas and my heart released someone I loved to the hands of heaven.
Ever since then I have been keenly aware of those for whom this is not the most wonderful time of the year. You see, Christmas is not always about the merry and bright. Sometimes our situations or our circumstances are just not what we would have them be. Sometimes nothing is going our way and the grief and despair can be overwhelming - especially when it seems that everyone around you is in high spirits and they are walking on Easy Street. Or maybe this is the year that someone is missing from your celebration, not to be seen again on this side of heaven.
I'm grateful that Christmas isn't all about the sparkle and shine our culture would lead us to believe it is. It is also about Love deeper than we know - deep enough to send hope in the form of an infant, deep enough to conquer even death. We don't need to check our pain and grief at the door of Christmas. We have a God who longs for us to lay our pain at His feet, cry out to Him and give to Him what we can no longer bear. He wants nothing more than to replace our grief with hope and joy. The kind of joy that is deep and wide, and comes on the other side of hard times, the kind of hope that is more than just a word - it is a state of being. It is a firm belief that even if we don't know how or when, God will come through and better days are ahead. For Yahweh is the true Hero of our story and unmerited favor is His specialty. Let His favor rest on you today.
This clip reminded me of just that today as I sat in church and listened to our pastor speak. Whatever you are facing, whatever hard times you are in and can't seem to see a way out of, know you have One in your corner. He is the Healer of all wounds and the Restorer of all hope and joy.
I think it comes as no surprise to anyone that gratitude is not natural, it must be taught.
Because children are born selfish, it is our responsibility to train their hearts to be grateful. It is not an easy task, but it is a worthy one, for a child with a thankful heart is a delight to be around. Don't you just love the sound of a pint-sized 'thank you'? I know I do.
*The first step in teaching a child's heart to be grateful, is prayer. Teach them how to give thanks verbally. When we pray, we take our eyes off of ourselves and put them where they rightly belong - on God. Gratitude originates in the heart and the whole goal of parenting is to hit the heart - right? And gratitude draws our hearts closer to God. There is no where else I'd rather be.
*To further lead in gratitude, teach your children to write a thank you note. Good manners never go out of style and a thank you note is a great, simple way to show someone you are thankful, that you appreciate the time, effort, and resources it took to get you/them that gift.
*Tell your children, "no". I know this sounds like a no-brainer, but in today's society, where entitlement runs rampant, the best gift you can give your kids is the realization that we don't always get what we want. And if you have kids age 5+, make sure they earn part or all of the money they need to buy an item. Someone who is always given, without having to invest in their own things, is usually very unpleasant and nobody wants that!
*Read stories/books about gratitude. Family Life has so many great resources for families in their shop {and always at a reasonable price}. We have a several of their books and really like them all. "Thanksgiving: A Time to Remember", is one of our favorites. It comes with a CD about the pilgrims voyage here and what they sacrificed to make America a christian nation.
*Another idea I like is to offer a 'silver lining' award to any child who can turn a bad situation into a blessing. Perspective changes everything!
*Encourage your older children {ages 10-12+} to keep a perspective journal where they explore a situation from several points of view. It could also aid in developing the character trait of empathy. *BONUS!!*
*Memorizing Scripture is a great way to practice gratitude {and it increases their vocabulary!}
Just a couple examples of good verses are: Psalm 50:14, Psalm 50:23, Psalm 107:22.... the list is endless really!
*Encourage generosity and give big on every occasion possible. A thankful heart is a generous heart.
*Finally, enlist your child's help with chores and responsibilities. The more we do for our children, the less they appreciate our efforts. I know it can be excruciating to watch them do a chore, but stick with it. They will get it sooner or later and be all the better for it.
