The Day After

I awakened this morning

 knowing only three thing for certain:

God still sits on the throne.

There is a God who works outside our

presuppositions and does things 

his own way.

There is a God who connects

the dots of history -

past, present, and future.

....

In our politically charged climate

it is difficult to keep a right perspective.

It is tempting to be all consumed and bow a knee in the wrong place.

I, like you, must decide to live not on the basis

of what I see, but on the truth that God will do what

He said He will do.

....

I must know that hope is more than a word - 

it is a state of being.

It is a firm belief that even if you don't know how,

or even if you don't know when,

God will come through and better days are ahead...  

For the Hard Times

I stare out the morning window, the outline of my tired head stares back at me, sticky-up hair all out of place, crazy.  The sun isn't quite up yet.  Just the beginning of pink light on the horizon ready to set the world a blaze in autumn's hues.  I inhale slowly and in blessed relief give thanks that this slow rising happens every morning, even when the dark seems all consuming.  I wrap my hands a bit tighter around my warm cup and my head rushes forward into the day.  Even though the house is quiet, I am rushing around in my head like things are in full swing already.  My feet have hardly moved but my soul is rumbling.

My soul is rumbling because the events of the past week have left me weak and thirsty to my core for some divine reassurance.

 In the pre-dawn dark of Tuesday morning I was awakened by Todd shouting, "Kim, the neighbor's house is on fire!  I'm calling 911!"  What in the world?? I thought as I struggled to lift sleep's daze from my mind.  Before I even fully came to, I could smell the smoke seeping through open windows in the boys' rooms. The commotion roused everyone from sleep and in moments we all stood in front of the windows with mouths agape and hearts praying as we could easily see the orange flames light up the interior of their house.  Such an eery, helpless feeling to just sit and watch a dream, quite literally, go up in smoke.  Fortunately this house is under construction and no one lives there.  The family was scheduled to close on it and move in in just a couple of weeks.  Their dreams of being in their new home for the holidays will have to wait until spring as the entire interior will have to be gutted and rebuilt.

Wednesday evening, Todd interrupted my work out with a breaking news story from our area.  A 10-year old girl was abducted on her way to school earlier in the week and he wanted to let me know she had been found.  In a field, in pieces, 1/2 mile from our house.  My soul is still rumbling as I struggle to wrap my mind around how something so sick and twisted happens to someone so innocent.  It's like the fingers of hell reached right up through the ground and grabbed her.  Her life was snuffed out and the the entire community has been launched into a place of fear and anxiety.  I am angry.  I am angry that her mother will never be able to hold her again, to kiss her and tell her how sorry she is. To let her know that even the next breath feels impossible to take without her.

And dare I say it?  I questioned deep inside myself, where was God?

Mercifully, the Lord whispers His presence over me.  He calls me back into this moment and reminds me that He called the light day and the dark night.  He spoke the days into being, just one at a time.  He reminds me that His mercies are new every morning and that He alone can make beauty from ashes.  He reminds me that when I am weak, He is my strength.  He is my rock and my shelter from the storm.
He is my deliverer and that little girl's deliverer as well.  

And so I stand there next to the window, pink sky lighting up with each passing moment and I feel a bit guilty because I am a Christian and Christians aren't supposed to have fear or anxieties, right?  I want to ignore the anxiety and fear and not let them rise to the surface.  But I must let them rise up so I can release them into His hands.  Speak the fear out loud, so that He can speak truth.  I know I have a God who can handle it.

I set my cup on the counter, breathe in deep the fresh air of a new day, pray without words to a God who knows.  Much like a sunrise, truth can be a slow rising, but as each moment weaves itself into the next, as we believe in the great right now, His truth becomes a strand woven into the fabric of our minutes.  This moment living reminds me of who is small, who is in control and who isn't.  It reminds me of my desperate need for a source outside myself. I can trust in the One True God.  He alone is enough.  For today and tomorrow and every day after.   The condition of the world, the depravity of humanity, the circumstances of my life or the rumblings of my soul can or will ever define Him.  He is unchanging and for that I am so grateful.

Homecoming & Such

This past week was Homecoming week at school.

  Our kids attend a Christian school - one school, three campuses.  

That means every campus

 had specially themed days for every day of the week, i.e.

 'school colors day', or 'retro day', or 'surf and ski day'... you get the picture. 

 A different level of craziness was added to our house

 as we searched out different costumes/outfits late at night, 

all in the name of school spirit.

Our week culminated with a winning Homecoming game on Friday night, 

of which I have no pictures because

 we inadvertently ended up sitting in the student section

 and were forced to watch the back sides of all the students

 because for some unknown reason,

 all of them stand for the majority of the  game. 

 I had a great view of some really blinged out jean pockets.

  Nice.

Saturday was the official Homecoming banquet 

where the kids got dressed up & headed out
 as couples or groups

 & had a nice dinner

 & then went to a fun center until the wee hours of the morning.

  

This is Mykenna & Luke. 

 They have been best friends since kindergarten

 and when Homecoming was announced,  Luke knew immediately who he would ask to be his date.

  The theme for the banquet was 'famous couples or groups' - they went as Ken and Barbie.

  They have a unique friendship,
one that we admire and approve of.
We love her
 & her sweet family

 &

 are happy that they like to spend time together as friends.

On another note, 

I went to the library the other day.

Seems like I have a little something for cookbooks.

I could sit and read through them for hours.

I think the thing I miss the most about

not being home all day, now that I am working full time,
is time in my kitchen.

Lord, I love to be in there puttering and

mixing and measuring and making dishes

that put smiles on their faces.

I have plans to put together a cookbook of my own one day.

One day...

I took the hound dog out for an early run this morning.

It was beautiful.

  

It was so very tranquil

&

just what I needed

 to clear my mind &

get myself ready for

 another

 busy

 week.

Blessings,

{K}

Today is Your Birthday

Happy 45th birthday to you, my Cowboy!

May your year be filled with

dreams come true,

more health than illness,

more success than failures,

more love than you can hold,

more time well spent than wasted,

more joy than sorrow,

more quiet moments to sit and savor than hustle and bustle,

and more blessings than curses.

I love you more than you will ever know.

I adore you.

I cherish you.

I miss you when we are apart.

Thank you for doing all that you do for us..

you are simply the best!!

XO,

Beezy

Weekend Bliss

 

May your weekend

 be filled with slow starts,

quiet moments,

and glimpses of glory.

May you linger long over ground beans,

 connect with those you hold dear,

& find a trail that leads to adventure.

May troubles and disappointments roll right off you.

May joy abide in you.

May peace be your companion.

May you savor the last full summer weekend

and linger in her fading light. 

Sweet blessings to you,

 my friend.

Ready or Not...

I am getting this post up a bit late

{what's new??}

but wanted to share with you our first-day-of-school photos

and

give you a little update.

And I also wanted to put this up

so that I could feel as though

I did something for me,

that I love 

and reminds me of my former life. :)

Goodness...

where has the time gone?

How are we headed to 

high school,

middle school,

AND elementary school this year?

Seems like just yesterday we were headed

out to MOPS 

and I was packing diapers and bottles

and double checking to make sure I had matching socks on.

No small feat in those early, sleep deprived days.

And now...

big kids.

And I truly love it.

The older they get, the more I enjoy them.

Yes, we have bumpy days and teary moments,

but by and large, they are becoming wonderful people

who I really like to spend time with.

Speaking of time,

adjusting to being a working mom has been challenging.

I have spent the last 16 years feathering my nest

and making sure home was a 

calm, clean, organized haven to come home to.

These days we leave by 7,

arrive home near 5,

and are out the door again for a 'Back-to-{fill in the blank} night.

I miss my kids,

I miss my cowboy,

I miss long walks with the dog.

I miss my measuring spoons - 

I miss being home.

I could go on and on but I might short out my keyboard

with exhausted tears.

While I desperately miss home,

I love my job.

I walked through the doors the other morning and worship music

 was blaring from the Worship Center,

people were gathering to pray

and peace reigned.

{AND  I get paid to be here??}

And just down the hall are roughly 300

middle schoolers who need to be loved on

and cared for and shown the right way to class.

They need copies of schedules,

and help with jammed lockers,

and maybe a kleenex or two.

{volleyball cuts were made today :( }

They need to know that someone is there to greet them

and say how glad they are to see them.

Bless their hearts,

 they are a mess!

Precious messes

 and I get to love on them 

and help them

 and love on their overwhelmed mamas, too.

{I can relate} 

Well, off to pack lunches and move laundry

 and maybe sneak a moment

or two with the cowboy

before it is time to start the whole thing over again!

Blessings,

{K} 

Post Olympic Goodness

The Olympics went out with a bang, no?

I've never been a big fan of

the closing ceremonies,

they are usually from a culture I cannot relate to or appreciate.

London's closing ceremonies weren't

an exception to all things of

Olympic wierdness,

but I reasoned that at least I could understand

the lyrics of the songs,

and therefore I liked them better than most others.

And speaking of music,

I was shocked to see the current state of George Michael.

Goodness,

time has not been good to that man.

VERY SAD.

While the Olympics were actually on,
 I was most interested in the swimming

and gymnastics, 

but definitely not the men's synchronized diving.
Synchronized diving??
Men's??

Really??  

When did that sad event become Olympic?

Have I been living under a rock?

Well,

at least I had my own little version of the Olympics around here.

I didn't have to pay out the wazz

for plane fare,

converge with thousands to get the best seat,

or

buy cheesy souvenirs that will collect dust

in a box for the next 30 years.

I had front row seats to the most exciting events and got some great shots

of my favorite athletes...

While there were no fancy prizes given out

{just cheers from mom and dad}

they're all gold medal winners in my book!

Blessings,
{K}

Changes

I added this beautiful leather cuff bracelet

to my ever growing collection

earlier this summer.

{jewelry, it's an addiction I tell ya!}

I wish I could tell you where I found it

other than 'somewhere on etsy'.

I had been looking for just the right cuff with just the right

word/saying for months.

And then I landed on this one

and fell in love.

I don't know if you can fully

read it or not but it says,

"just when the caterpillar thought her world was over,

she became a butterfly."

It perfectly sums up where I believe I have

been for the last several months.

The Lord has been up to a mighty work in my life the last

few months, and I naively thought it was all about weight loss.

In February I committed to a healthier

lifestyle and gave weight loss a good try.

{I'm not known for sticking to my guns in this area}

I originally hoped to loose

20 pounds.

To date I have lost 30 pounds

 and have become a foodie and exercise junkie.

Who knew I had it in me??

Certainly not moi!

Then waaaay back in May

a job found me.

As I was walking in the cross walk.

To pick up my middle schooler.

Just crazy

as I had applied for a job at my kids' school months earlier

 and had resignedmyself to the fact that I wouldn't be working there

this coming school year.

I just wasn't in the cards, or so I thought.

Long story short, the principal

of the middle school grabbed me and told me I was an answer to prayer.

She wanted me to be a part of the middle school staff

and work in the front office.

All the pieces fell in to place

and I will be there this coming school year.

I am thrilled to have a job and yet conflicted at the same time.

For the last 15+ years I have been a stay at home mom.

And a very content, happy one at that!

I fully believe that having a parent who is 

passionate about home and being fully present in their role,

is the greatest gift a child can receive.

                           I have loved {almost} every minute of being at home with my kids.

LOVED IT!!

But it is time for me to leave home and supplement our income.

It is time to take the burden of raising a family
 on one paycheck

 off of my sweet man's shoulders.

He has been a trooper for so long

 and graciously

 allowed me to live out my dream of staying home with our kids.

Now it is his turn to live out his dream

of working for himself.

So this fall will be a crazy one for our family

as we all adjust to having a working mama.

I started work just yesterday

and bravely wore my cuff bracelet,

proudly telling my story to anyone who asks

about the engraving on it,

of how a gracious God has taken this caterpillar out of her

cocoon and readied her wings to fly.
My world isn't ending...
just beginning a new chapter.

His hand has been evident in every move that made this job

possible - in ways that I could never manipulate,

all the way down to the timing of cataract surgery

that allows me to really see my new computer screen

in my new office

at my new job.

30 lost pounds + clear vision + the perfect job

=

one butterfly ready to take off. 

I'm not sure how working full time will impact this blog.

That remains to be seen.

So we'll just take it one day at a time,

see how it goes

and give it my best shot.

Thank you all so much for hanging in there 

with me.

You all mean the world to me and I so appreciate

your stopping by to check in on me.

xo,

{K}

lately...

As you can see, I have yet to fix my issues with Photobucket.

  This is not their fault - all mine.  I just can't seem to find the time or make the time to sit down and get it done.

I need a bit of help from my sweetie, as we just got this computer up and running after a hard drive crash, a printer that died, and a modem blown out by storms.

I'm a bit leery of causing any damage, and that is just what I might do!

We are fully enjoying the last few days of summer here.

The kids start school in about two weeks so we have been trying

to get all those supplies shopped for and squeeze as many pool dates in as we can.

However, the storms keep thwarting us!

We made two attempts to get there today and finally decided to just make a trip to the fabric store instead.

I can't tell you of the utter joy and elation that came from my boys. :0)

Sweet girl is up to all things flipp-y and cart wheel-y.

{Are you watching the Olympics too?}

She will spend a bit of time on the computer checking out gymnastics moves

and then head out in the yard to perfect them.

I think she would be a great gymnast.

Completely flexible and coordinated,

but she doesn't need one more thing to fill her schedule.

{Neither does her mama!}

That big ole 14 year old boy has been running a lot lately,

all in preparation for cross country this fall.

Being as he has just about reached the 6' mark, 

you can imagine his stride.

He is a great runner and kicks my fanny every time we head out together.

Little Bit is finished with swim lessons where he earned the title of

MVP Butterflier.  

He can kick it in the poollike nobody's business.

This time of year his skin turns the loveliest shade of deep brown, just like his daddy's.

I can hardly keep my hands off of him!

The cowboy is keeping up with keeping up.

We celebrated 18 years of wedded bliss yesterday

with a yummy dinner on the patio of one of our favorite local italian restaurants.

It was so lovely to have uninterrupted conversation 

and reminisce on the past.

He gets more amazing with every passing year,

I'm one lucky girl.

As for me,

 I head in for eye surgery in the wee hours of the morning tomorrow.

Pray for me??

I am in desperate need of getting a humdinger of a cataract removed.

It has been there forever 

{thanks rheumatoid arthritis for 40+ years}

and has completely blocked the vision in my right eye.

I can see colors and some shapes,

 but absolutely no detail.

Lord willing, all will go smoothly.

My surgery will take longer than normal as there is much scar tissue to remove and work around

and according to the doc, it's a sticky mess in there.

Eesh!

I am so thrilled to be getting this taken care of and behind me.

It really has been too long.

If you wouldn't mind, I would love if you would send a prayer up for me!

Thanks!

Checking In...

I think this summer of blogging officially puts me in the 'Lamest Blogger Ever' category.

Every time I sit down to post, I have technical issues.  Big ones.  Right now I can't access my photos {which is causing me great stress}.  My sources are helping, but they are closed on weekends and they take a few days to get back to me and sometimes I'm at the pool and can't seem to get out of my chaise to respond to them and it takes a day or two for me to get back with them and so on and so on.... and who wants to read a post without pictures??  

Needless to say, we are working on solving the issues but I'm not willing to hijack my kids' summer so that I can sit in the basement for hours and attempt to connect with 'Steve' from Photobucket {is 'Steve' a real person or an automatically generated response based on key words??} and stress over photos.  But I do anyway.  At night.  When we can't be at the pool.

A quick thank you to all you sweet readers who leave comments.  I get them, I read them, and love them.  Y'all are so kind!  Unfortunately I cannot respond to your comments unless I have your email in my system.  I can respond to the comment under your original comment but who wants to log back into the comment section to see if I replied or not?  If you do, give a shout and I'm happy to do so.  I just figure nobody has that kind of time.  Just know that I do read them and so appreciate the fact that I am not just out here in cyberspace having a conversation with myself :)  Earen, Kristi, and Mary Lou - thank you for your encouraging words{love you tons!}

The biggest news here is the rain.  Yes, the blessed rain!!  We were in Costco yesterday when the heavens OPENED UP and sent a deluge our way.  No kidding, people were dancing and cheering and wanting to play in it.  Seems to be an appropriate response when half of your state has been on fire for a month and temperatures have averaged somewhere near what is common on the surface of the sun.  Thank you, Lord for rain.  Amen.

On another note, I have news to share with you all but I am waiting for Photobucket to get their act together before I do so.  A picture would make a much better story than just my words.

Fourth of July was great, but falling smack dab in the middle of the week and having a fireworks ban due to the extremely dry conditions made it feel like an average summer weekend.  I didn't even bring my camera to the mountain with us.  See?  Lamest Blogger Ever.


Blessings,
{K}

A Memorial Day Recap

Ah... laziness I must be rid of you.  It is almost the 4th of July and I am just now getting to a Memorial Day recap. Good heavens!!  My 4th of July recap {likely in October} will look much like this post, except everyone will be in red, white and blue, of course.  And there might be a flag or two thrown in for good measure.

My in-laws have a nice little place in the mountains that we head to for all the summer holidays and an occasional fall weekend or two.  Or three.  It's here that the vast majority of our family gathers to spend time together, relax and get away from it all.


For the kids this means cousin time.  And we all know that there is nothing better than 48-72 hours of  the sheer delight that is know as 'cousin time'.  A new house was built on the property in the last year and my in-laws had the super great idea to make the upstairs 'the bunk room'.  A place with numerous bunk beds and cozy nooks for all the kids to gather, play games, read a book and most importantly, sleep together.  They couldn't be happier.  They all get along fabulously {all 13} and highly prefer each other's company over most anyone else's.  They play and laugh and the fun never ends.  For me and Todd, it means a long walk through the pastures and uninterrupted queso dip!

  It's like a living dream.

Isn't it just lovely??

best buds

they kinda like each other a bit :)

growing up waaaaay too fast

2nd fish ever - brought this one home and grilled it

always a good time

7 of the 13 cousins


Blessings,
{K}

Catching Up

Well.

 My goodness.

Between the end of school, a hard drive failure, a husband traveling and the beginning of summer, I've had no time to post.  Oh, throw in some email issues with Blogger not recognizing passwords and a whole new redesigned site {Blogger, not mine}, and this not-so-tech-savvy-girl has been a bit overwhelmed.

To say I'm behind in posting photos is a gross understatement.  You see, some pictures are on the cowboy's phone, some are on my camera and coordinating a download to multiple places takes forever!  And boggles my mind.

So, I will give you the briefest of updates and pictures that go back to Christmas.

Yes, Christmas.  Have mercy!  I know, it's so silly to go back that far because who really cares any more, but I promise it will just be the highlights.

Spring Break entertainment at it's finest.  Oh, how they love a good fort!

Valentine love

pretty bird on a summer's eve

warm, sweet start to the day

HUGE snow, huge fun!

Christmas joy

My biggest boys

teacher gifts

THE highlight of my Christmas season - packing shoeboxes to send around the world to the poorest and neediest

Three times a day all activity stops to lay hands on the gifts and pray over them

How I love the work they do!

Well, I think that should do it for now.  Do you feel like we;ve never been apart?  We didn't skip a beat?  Me too!

Blessings to you, sweet friends!

{K}

When Nothing Goes Right

Yesterday was one of those days.

It all started well and good, but by 7:00 a.m. things were headed south at a rapid pace.

  My oldest plays up for our high school band and he had a concert last night, so that meant a before-school practice at 7:15 yesterday morning.  We were all headed to the high school when my sweet 13 year old announced, "Mom, I left my trombone at the Middle School."  {cue the record scratch} Hmmm... I thought to myself. So, we stopped by the Middle School to get said trombone and lo, and behold, the band room doors were locked tight and NO ONE, not one single person, had the key to open the door.

  Meanwhile, the clock is ticking and I was getting wound up because I hate to be late and unprepared and looking like we don't have our act together.  So we waited.  And waited.  Forty minutes we waited.  And I took advantage of our time in the car together to re-strategize my morning and figure out how I was going to get all the kids to where they need to be ON TIME!  And I also took the time to dive right into one of my famous lectures about how he's headed to high school next year and don't you think it would be best to plan more than 20 minutes ahead of yourself, and do you see how your lack of preparedness affect the whole lot of us??  And on and on.

I finally dropped him off, 45 minutes late, with an exchange of "I'm sorry" and a hug and I wanted to crawl back into bed and start this day over because I'm pretty certain that the whole series of events didn't seal my "Mother of the Year" nomination.  And I kicked myself, because how many times have I thought "how can I be mad that he is not as I want him to be, when I am not as I want me to be?"  And I vowed to meet him for lunch and love on him in his love language of burgers and ask for forgiveness.

 Then I stopped by Target to pick up a few things and I swear the cashier looked at me like, "AGAIN, you are here again??" because I was there the night before and the day before that.  She didn't help my mood.

I then went home, baked cupcakes for a teacher's birthday the next day and took the dog for a long walk to get his endless energy out and my work out in.  We were almost home when we stopped by the neighbor's house to see their not -so- small yellow lab pup.  The dogs love to play together and when she asked if Boone would like to come in the back yard and play with Body, I agreed.   Ten minutes later we were on our way home when I noticed Boone limping and bleeding.  We got home and took a look at his foot... sure enough, cut wide open and needing stitches!  So, not only had I messed up the morning with my son, now I had messed up the dog's foot and our budget by letting him play in a yard I hadn't checked out first.  We are assuming that he cut it on some edging or a rock.  Our neighbor's yard is rather 'organic' and I really should have looked before I said yes.

Now, instead of getting my laundry done, frosting cupcakes for the teacher, paying our bills and getting a post up, I was headed to the emergency vet.  Nice.

Turns out the vet was lovely{new office for us} and she was able to take Boone right away, but was concerned that he broke his foot as well because he was unable to put any weight on it.  She assured me that I could leave him there and they would take X-rays and suture him up and love on him in that voice that only a vet/vet tech can.  And all this could be done for the bargain price of $400.  Yes, $400.  Super.

I left him there, headed home to get something done with my day, like try to figure out where in the world the money would come from to pay the vet bill, when my sweet man offered to take me out to Taco Bell for lunch, because he is a big spender like that.  Yes ladies, he's all mine.   I protested because I had yet to really accomplish anything with my day, when I looked at my clock.  It was 2:00.  Way past my son's lunch time.  Great.  Then the phone rang and it was my bestie wondering where I was for our standing coffee date - which, of course, I had completely spaced out!!  UGH!!

I ended up postponing with her, lunching with my man, grabbing the kids, picking up the dog in his brand new plastic Cone of Shame and bandaged foot {the tech said,"he'll need to be quiet and restful for the next 10 days," to which I asked if they had medication for that.  She just looked at me.  I guess I'll have to medicate myself then}, to head home and get dinner on the table so we could get to the concert.  And the grill wouldn't start.  Oh, if I were a swearing woman I would have let forth a stream that would have caused a trucker to blush.  But, I'm not.  So I sat on the patio steps and just took a deep breath, turned my face to the sun, and gave thanks to God for this good day.

No matter how bad the day is, I remind myself it could be worse.   A whole lot worse.

I eventually got the grill going, the burgers were awesome, we actually got to eat outside {in March, none the less!} and we made it to the concert on time and watched one the greatest kids I know, play his trombone.  Because he had it.  Right there.  Not in the Middle School band room.  It was glorious.

And we returned home to iron pants for today, finish the laundry, tuck freshly showered kids into beds and put these very weary bones in a bed full of feathers.

I guess it wasn't such a bad day after all.